I think I died a long time ago.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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