Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
