I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
