pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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