That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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