I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
