You really coming over, don't trick.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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