Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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