think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
