If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
