In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
