i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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