I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
