Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
