I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
