I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm passing your future prison.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
