Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
