so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
