some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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