yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
