Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
