Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
