Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
