Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
