Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
