It's like God shit irony all over that family
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
