Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Are my feet made of real feet?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
