Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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