Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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