remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
