So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
