I bet he comes in French.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
