she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
