i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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