Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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