im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want to make out with him forever
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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