I want to stick my p in your. b.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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