Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
