I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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