then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
