First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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