I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
