I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
