I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
