you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
