when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
