when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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