My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
