So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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