So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
